have you ever had this feeling.the feeling whereby it makes you feel like all this while your life has been a complete waste of time?im feeling that way now.haa.i just came back.ok.not just.but some time ago.it's 0016hrs nw.and i think my eyes are gonna close soon.hee.anyway.i went out with abang.my sisters.farhan.mawan.feroze[oooohhh]shah.and idris.ok.not go out.but we lepak at s11 in tamp.maybe lepak is sucha mala word.haha.it is.it more like a mat word!haha.whatever to me.im damn pissed with my younger sis.EVERYONE should see how she flirts with MR farhan just now.and when she came back she was so happiee.talking bout him and stuff.like i wanna hear.maybe she's developing feelings for him.her boobs are already well developed.ok im pissed right now.so i talk rubbish.sorry.anyway.wow.she has feelings.i thought she only liked those lesbianiatic frens.in her lesbonated school.urgghhh!she's flirts!thats the bottom line of it.suckerrr.so anyway.my abang and akak fight again.how?so scared.dont want them to break up.haiz.it's always like this.and he didnt want to layan her.but still kecoh arh.like disturb2.i got a lot of slappings just nw.that basket.he think it's his mum's face lah.and btw.for the recond.i hate farhan.he seems like a total flirt.i mean seriously.like SERRRIIOOOUUSSLLLY.i wanted to watch the fire works just nw.i heard it from bugis.was there to exchange my sis's necklace.then mud and my sis came.walk2.dunno what to do.heard the fire works.everyone single one kiasu sporeans went to see where it came from.i wanted to seee!i wanted to go esplanade.crappie.so then we didnt noe what to do.so we took a train to tamp.met farhan and a whole lot of their frens there.then walk2 around.bllaahh.i didnt know there was this park thingie in tm.haha.ooh.i saw a group of band ppl talking and stuff.jonathan was there.so anyway.we left tamp at 1030.took a cab home.and we just realised that my dad wasnt home.my bro work night shift.my mum asleep.haaii.shud have stayed longer right.oohh yaa!!in the morning i went to the red cross headquarters.got lost at first.then went i came in everyone was staring.i felt like a zombie man.haii.then guess what??i passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha.yay!!!=)=)=).and im still smiling.haha.so now im a certified first aider.anyone sick?
looking at you just makes me laugh.thinking.what bad taste i had back then!




oh god.im so tired.ha.so long nvr update.it's been a week.i've been so busy with tests.waddaheck.this whole week k.so annoying.and i've been sleeping late too.i wanna use the weekends to catch up on my sleep but i cant!i hafta go to the red cross headquaters tmr to take my first aid test.retardedness!and weirong wont be with me for 1 hr.it's so sad.me in my loner world.ok.i cant imagine that.haha.hm.a lot of things have happened.i think.abang scared me k.i watched incredible tales.like OMG.haha.so creepy.tok wan!haha.scary lah!then abang called me and he was like'tookkk waaannnn.....tokkkk waannnnnnn....'haha.i was like gonna cry man.fool.i couldnt sleep well lah.and my sis fought with abang.haiz.and i was like the middleman.they're always fighting k.i dont want them to break up.it's just not right.they're meant for each other.i love them both.awwww.haha.okok.leeme confess.i want them to get married.cos then they'd buy a new hse right.then i wanna move it with them!haha.can come home late.freedom baby!how kewl.so anyway.some stuff happened btwn my two friends.haha.ok.i just said some wierd stuff.whatever.but ya.so saddening.haaii.so anyways.just now i watched khalis performed.not tt im dying to see them perform.but they're so cool.except for khalis lah.haha.luke was great on the drums.i like.i wanna play the drums.it's like so cool isnt it?there was this pathetic guy.he tried singing.but obviously failed cos his voice sucks man.he was wearing yellow btw.im sure everyone knows him.haha.okk.then there was this small boy.he's soo cute and he was like break dancing.haha.cutiee pie.came late for guides.but who cares.one word: attitude.haa.guides was boring as usual.im hating it more as the days pass by.i just realised what a loser i am to be in guides.what quality would i have?i cant even use it to enter a jc.haiiz.so anyway.english oral went fine.it was nice.i think.i had to talk bout marriages.haha.how cool.and i said some crappy stuff too.ha.typical mua.heh heh heh.anyway.divya has brought me to such.emm.nice? places.haha.we walked from school to katong mall.to roxy square.saw some stuff i thought i would nvr know about.haha.thanks girl.have i told you how much i hate this group of ppl!total slut gang.haha.talking bout slut.faizal is sooo annoyinh.he scratched me.so pain.but he said sorry.haha.dumbass.
loving you is not a great feeling after all.




eyyloo there mate!haha.sounds like phoebe from friends.she's cute.haha.anyways.im bored.today was nice.dont know why.and i was so amazed by aluminium powder.i still am.haha.it's shiny and so coooool.ahahaha.im obsessed with some chemical thing.im nuts la.haha.so anyway.our dearest grannie didnt come school today.she probably forgot to wake up.haha.i just pity old hags like her.hahaha.jkkk.=).school was okaay lah.kavina didnt come.i felt so alone.like i was missing something.it's like as if she's part of me.haha.i cant live without her man.i miss her!!she's sick.aiiyy.shouldnt have diet and stuff.so poor thing.hope she's feeling okay.get well soon deaarr!!hmm.so anyway.after school.we had the stoopid maths test.university of melbourne.wooowww.big deal.ha!dumbass.but it was kinda funny.cos we sorta like pissed that man off.heee.me and henna left early.cant be bothered la.like who cares man.then i went down with her.she called her darling.i waited with her.and she was totally freaking out.haha.cute laah.so then i met up with chayana and divya and the three of us walked to katong mall.divya bought watermelon.erm.dunno what drink.and chayana bought honeydew.it's pathetic lah.haha.we saw khalis and his mat troops.haha.then erm.we went to the interchange.divya saw her fren and fled off.haa.and me and chayana were on our way to the 60 stop when she realised that she doesnt have coins.which means tt she cant take the bus!we didnt know divya was already in the bus so we tried looking for her.TRIED.but we saw granz and paveena instead.asked them for money.but apparently.they dont have any.so we went to change money for coins.ha.and went back arhh.came home.so tired k.hrmpph.okkay la.im gonna doze off soon.tata!
how wounderful life is.even when you're not around![my version.haha]





heyya.im so bored.suppose to be doing chem hw.but i cant be bothered.just now i was doing some of the qtns.and i was so sick of it that i was lying on my bed.thinking bout him.cos he msged me.and i slept!for one hour.how pathetic is that.but i was tired anyway.after yest's waste of my precious time.we practically stood there.for people to see our beautiful faces.and ya.i dont see the point of it.so what if it seems 'prestigious'.haaa.big deal!retards.i came home so late yest.the bus came super late.and my mum called.not surprise laah.but she was asking in a nice way where i was.have i eaten.wooowwww.first time ehh.haha.i came home at 845.my whole body was weak and aching.thank god i was talking to gloriiee when i was on my way home.if not i would have slept and missed my stop.haha.okk.i came home.went online.got bored.went to take a loonnggg nice.warm shower.hahaa.then i played xbox.got even bored with it.so i just went to sleep at 1030.hmm.i wanna go out today!shittoo.oohh.and i stopped tuition.i just realised my tutor is pathetic.blur.big headed freak.ahaa.there's gonna be oral on tuesday and im so not prepared for it.damn laa.im so sleepy now.why does it have to be sucha cold day.but i like!haha.
im just waiting for something good to happen.




every week i cant wait for the weekends.cos i know somehow i'll get to meet him.and after tt day.i will be thinking of him.like all the time.it's crazee.haa.this whole week has been really suckyy.next week is gonna be worst.if i cant take sec 3 life.how am i suppose to survive sec 4.and im so expecting to do well for o levels.anyway.i just called the agency.and im getting a new tutor.that old one is like the cant be bothered type.so yeah.and the way she teaches me is like as if im some dumbass.idiot man.i have e maths test tmr.and i havent studied.and there's speech day too.and i havent ironed my uniform.it'll be embarrassing to carry it to sch tmr cos it'll be on a hanger.haha.okk.so anyway.im bored.all alone at home.okok.im too bored that i dun wanna blog anymore.byeee.hahaha.
wish to see you again.




this whole week has been really really fun.i mean REAALLLYY fun.hhaha.okok.let's get started.woohoo.
monday
school.urggh.as usual.but i couldnt stop thinking of him.seriously.i couldnt even concentrate in school.i kept on thinking of what happened on sunday.which was really fun.haha.then in the afternoon.i had a maths test.was sorta sucky.but okayy.i guess.haiii.so anyway.in the evening.ok not maybe evening.we had to go headquaters which was all the way in bishan.so pathetic.so we went arr.me.maria.suhailah.chun yin.yang ling and tzu hui.we stayed there until around 6 i think.and we came late oso.but it's not like use being there.crap.then i called my 'abang'.i needed his help cos of the night before.i couldnt stop thinking of youknowwho.so we talk2 and all.then i went home at around 7 or 8.was dead tired.but still watched desperate housewives.last episode sey.and the ending oso.rubbish!haha.soo yeah.
worried for my sis.felt terribly bad.

tuesday
in the morning.my 'abang' msged me.my sis arr.probs and stuff.so i was msging him the whole day.haha.then after school.went to meet surayya.she went to make her specs.then my abang called.he asked me whether i wanted to follow him go town.which never happened.and he was still in bad terms with my sis.so anyway.me and surayya went to eat in ljs.talked bout some stuff.she's just so poor thing lahh.then went home.my sis put up a face.she didnt wanna talked to me.and blamed me for everything.waddaheck.i din really do anything what.so then i watched teevee.then went to my room.and saw her talking on the phone and crying.felt so bad.then she told me not to contact my abang anyway.urggh.idiot k.fast forward lahhh!
pissing offing night.couldnt sleep well.

wednesday
school was okay ar.felt so short.after school.i didnt wanna go home.so pathetic right.and i know i cant meet surayya cos she'd probably have npcc.so i knew that gloria wasnt gonna go for tamil class.so i asked her whether she wanna go anywhere.so she suggested we go to the beacH!cos i was in love.and i needed to think whether im making the right decision to love someone.okkkaaay.that was crap.hahahaha.so anyway divya had to go for tamil class.so me.chayana.gloria.sandhya.and suhailah left arh.i dragged chayana along too.so the three of us went to the beach!woootz.we wrote on the break water.shhhhhhhh.hahaha.no one can know.haha.but i wrote it there!hahaa.we talked and stuff.was niccee.then we decided to go sentosa on friday!haha.then we went macs.saw gloria's friends.she was shy.hahahah.first time in her life i guess.ahhaa.then we left.sent gloria home.went up in the lift with herr.ahaaaha.wanted her to feel how it's like to have a bf.haha.no laah.kidding!~so erm.me and chayana left.she waited for my bus.heehe.then went home.cant remember what i did that night.so yeahh.
after so long.i went to the beach.at last!

thursday
school was still the same old boring one.goosh.but i was quite glad cos it was gonna be the end of the week.and it's so fast!!yay.haha.some stuff happened.hmmpphh.there's sth wrong wimme.i dont realised what im doing.whether it's right or wrong unless someone tells me.so anyway.errm.had chem lessons after school.then divya.gloria.sandhya and chayana waited for me and shermaine.then we went bedok interchange.bought divya's stuff.then i saw my sis!haha.waited with chayana for divya's bus.then while waiting.my sis came up to me.she was waiting for abang.so when divya's bus came.i was waiting with my sis and chayana for my abang.and he came.chayana wanted to see him btw.ahaha.so then e smile2.and they left.so chayana took 60 wimme.was really nice.we can actually talk a lot.and i realised that me and chayana are quite similar.except for the fact that she loves animal.urrgghhh.so anyway.i packed for sentosa trip.ahhaa.my bag wasnt filled with books.but stuff.heeehee.
couldnt wait for the next day.

friday
woke up.felt so nice.so fridays are always so short.haha.then after school.suppose to have guides.but i dont give a single shit bout it anymore.urggh.then left school for sentosa!but sandhya had to go home first.so we ALL decided to follow her home.oh god.i made sucha bad decision.haha.she has a freaking dog!!!haha.it's cute la.but you know how i am with dogs!!i cant even touch them.chayana isnt even scared of it.mad cow.haha.then after that we decided not to go sentosa.hahaha.we're bunch of crazee ppl.so then we slacked at sandhya's hse.i like it.except for the dog.so then we went out for lunch.came back.played with the beach ball.haha.then.gloria came up with the idea of going kayaking!!hahaha.crazeeee.but we went anyway.chayana didnt wanna go cos of some bad things that happened when she went.so the three of us kayaked!we planned to go until the ships there.but it began pouring!!goosh.and we were in the middle of the sea.we were already so far.then we quickly kayaked back.but we stopped.then me and sandhya went in.as in the water.haha.was seriously scarryyyy!haha.then i had trouble getting up back.the funny thing was i didnt cry or what even tho i was damn scared.hahaha.i began laughing.and everyone else laughed.haha.and suddenly sandhya's boat thing.[what do u called tt btw?] yea.it went away.haha.we were like screaming and stuff.and it was raining.total chaos.hahaha.but funny.then we got it back.i tried climbing on gloria's boat thingie.and it was about to overturn.haha.really funny.then i got back up.and we kayaked back.when it was nearer.we got down again.then kayaked back.returned the boats thingie.then swam.haha.not really but ya.there were a few bimbos too.okok.fast forward.went back sandhya's place.took bath.then went home.haaaaaaa.
like it??love it!!




hahahaha.im going cwwaazzeeee.haha.im high.no.not on drugs.on loveeeee.hehehe.okok.let's start.hehe.cant waiittt!!okokok.i had tuition in the morning.did a maths.then watch teevee.slacked at home.then mud called.he asked me whether i wanted to go arab street smoke sisha.with a'an.haha.so i was like obviously.i changed and everything.my mum was so annoying.seriously.god.then i was shouting.screaming at her.then i just left.then.maybe got daulat.it rained so heavily that i couldnt get out of the block.i mean to another block.so i called mud arr.then he said just run.crazeeeee.but i did it anyway.then i was super duper late.haha.i met him and my sis at eunos mrt.the train came.and he told me a'an wasnt coming.what the hell!!haha.cos we're gonna meet marena and her bf there too.so it's like a couple thingie.and i didnt want to be left all alone right.so wen we reached that plae.marena and her bf wasnt there.then mud called a'an.asked him to come.after a while he came.[shy-NESS in meee!]hahaha.then after we drank.smoked.then left arr.obviously there were like couples and me and a'an was like out of place.ahhaa.okok.im tired.dont wanna elaborate.byyee.
these people are to call me!!!:
-divya!!
-gloriee.
-mud.
-ayaaaa.
haha.better call!~
nitezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~




heyy.morning everyone!im so tired after yest man.had guides.it was pretty fun.haha.we had drills for sec 1.and me.gloriees and chayana was in charge.and we were like strict.which actually helps.cos of their atrocious behavior towards us.and they were actually quite good.i was screaming my lungs ut.haha.and after the whole thing i still wanted to scream.hehe.it was as if screaming was part of me.lameness.i wanna do drills for the sec 1s next week too.but it just depends on the committee.and they better be good.mrs tey wants me to redo the meeting plan.which i think is quite annoying.cos i didnt get any credit for that.my hard work.she dissapoint me yest.the reason is quite obvious.so anyway.i've made up my mind.from today onwards.im gonna speak my mind.and not keep everything inside.cos if i do that.i'll be the one losing out.aint that right?cos if i have all the feelings inside.i would hafta let it all out.and i'd cry.that's not what i want.i want to be the real me.the me who's not afraid to tell others what she thinks.but then again.i cant go too far.i'd leave others hurt.after guides.we waited for maria for like one thousand years.hmm.then.went home.at the bustop.me and gloria went to the shop over there.and we bought some sweetttz.then gloria asked the auntie whether she could give us free chocs.haha.i know.she's pathetic.ahaha.and guess what!she gave us.haha.so cool. hehehe. anyways.yesterday i came home.and my sis told me that khalis came by earlier.he borrowed the guitar from my bro.thank god i wasnt at home.ahaa.ooooh!i already have free incoming.wooooz!~last night.i had conference with people.first it was.gloriees.and henna.then divya came home.it was divya and this other fren of mee.bleaah.okk.so i was dead tired by 1130.told them that i was gonna die.haha.i really was.so bloody tired.eyes half closing.so i hung up.then.after some time.mud called.was talking to him for some time.before my sis woke up and asked for the phone cos she wanted to talk to him.so yeaah.after that i slept.today woke up only at 930.and i have tuition at 2.sad life aint it.haiishh.
i saw.it was too disheartening for me to bear the thought.




this song is seriously stuck in my head.so yeah.

I've been down, but now I'm blessed
I felt a revelation comin around
I guess it's right, it's so amazing
Everytime I see you
I'm alive
You're all I got, you lift me up
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes
(Chorus)
I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be the Earth that holds you
Every bit of air you breathin in, of soothin wind
I wanna be inside your heaven.

When we touch
When we love
The stars line up
The wrong becomes undone
Naturally my soul surrenders
The sun and moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

(Chorus)
When minutes turn to days and years,
If mountains fall
I'll still be here,
Holding you the day I die,
I wanna be inside your heaven,
Take me to the place you cry from,
Where the storm blows your way,

(Chorus)
Oh yes I do,
When I want to be inside your heaven
Oh yes




im so in love with my bloggiiee.haha.im sure you are tooo.haha.today.hmm.nothing happened lah.just that i was so sleepy in school.seriously sleepy.i couldnt open my eyes.and the first period was english.pure boring-ness.geog was fun.hahaaa.mrs choi and her stories.really fun.anyway.i guess im over him.and this time it's true.i wanna hang out with those ppl i met on saturday.ohh ya.yest.me.my sisters and mud went out.we went cycling.haaa.was nice.i mean he was nice.i guess he's the purrfect match for my sis after all.he really cares bout her and all.he's sweet la.except the part when he disturbs ppl.haha.then at around 8 we left.went back.i was seriously tired then.i didnt talk much.he sent us to the bus area.waited for us.and left.anyways.surayya's urking me man.i oso wanna be frenz with an.haiissshh.guess i'll just hafta wait.guess what?i just made gloria pissed.hahaha.read the bulletin in frenster and u'll understand.sorryyyy!!!!hahha.it was tooo tempting laaah!haha.kk.i dont feel like blogging.byee earthlings!
it was nice.im over you.




it's really early in the morning.i didnt sleep well last night.been thinking bout stuff.awful stuff.it's just so sad.i have no idea why this is happening to me.of all people.anyway.i found out something last night.i cried like there's no tomorrow.i was seriously hurt.haiiz.and today morning then i found out the truth.my sister didnt wanna give him my no.how pathetic is that.a part of me is telling me that it's totall bullshit.but the other part is telling me that she loves me.hmpph.ya right.but they should have at least told me bout it.why does she always hafta get the guys and leave me.depressed.i know im not suppose to be in love with him.i tink im not anyway.infactuation.goshh.and i better tell my cousin that he has a gf.before she starts flirting.going gaga.and everything else.my life is just so sad.i wanna get a new phone.haiiz.i hate my mum.i dunnoo laah.who cares?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you.

With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.

You think good luck might come your way, but if it does you'll be so surprised you'll burst out laughing.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be reluctant to accept things as they are. And you are prone to think negatively.

You care more about world trends and fashions than you do about well formed opinions.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out.

yesterday i had the best time of my life.ohh good.hhaha.it was sooo nice.okok.let's start.
i woke up in the morning.my younger sis wanted to borrow my phone.cos she was going for some swimming thing.obviously i wont lend it to her.pathetic.so my mumm was pestering me.she got really pissed.my dad too.what's with these people.dont they know how much my phone means to me.and they want to take it away.somemore i was gonna go out.like isnt there any public phone?my younger sis is the most pathetic bitch in the world.really.she's so blur.so irritating.i feel like living on my own.like get out of this hse and stuff.it'll be fun wouldnt it?i hate them.period!so anyway.i went to meet surayya in the afternoon.we went bugis.shop.i bought a pencil case.took neoprints.ooooh.they're so nice!hahaha.i love them to bits and pieces.anyone can scan them for me?????pllss!haha.hmm.so then.we ate in ljs.talk bout lotsa stuff.it was really fun even tho it was only the both of us.so then.at around 5.we left.for pasir ris.i didnt wanna go home.so i went to her place instead.use the comp.hanged around.ate again.haha.then i prayed and after magrib i planned to go home.then my older sis called and asked us to meet her in marine parade with mud and farhan.cos they were playing pool.so then surayya asked her mum and she could go!how fun is that!hahaha.to save time, we took a cab cos it was already 8++.the stoooopid driver took the longer way when we could have reached like so much earlier.so pathetic.and we had to pay like 10 bucks.god!total crapness.and we were sorta like asking him and stuff and he was actually pissed.how retarded.old man.hmm.so my sis came and fetched us.then we went to the place.ohh god.he's cute!haha.i was soo happy that i went.heehe.i obviously didnt know how to play.but i tried.haaha.soo fun!then we also played arcade.mud's so annoying.goosh.we left at around 10 plus.then went home.got scolding.but i dont give a damn cos of what happened earlier.asshole!hate them kaayz.kk lah.my mum pestering me again.bitch lah!
hate it or love it?




im tired.dead tired.ohh gosh.my legs are hurting.is there anyone out there who can massage me feet.oh.and my fingers too.haha.guides wasnt really that bad.the maams are gone.to tell ya the truth.during the handover.the last part.it was kinda sad aint it.i mean the maams are gone.i know they're strict and all.but still.we'd miss the scolding.pumping.whatever.haha.i mean.they're.hmm.nice ppl?ok.whatever laa.but hey.i'll miss them.hueeeehehe.anyways.we sorta like took over.not really.but ya.had drills for the sec 1.i tink it's like we're total slackers.no i mean.when we take over.that's what i feel.ohh.and there's gonna be campfire in our school!wooohoo.haha.hmm.and im unofficially the mc.shockingly.but i dont know.i suddenly feel like as if it's a bad idea.is it?i dont knooww!!haaha.i wanted to decorate.too bad some ppl had taken it.it's not fair.hmmphh.anyway.we'd be inviting schools.and me.chayana.also the mc.and gloria too.will be planning the games and competitions as well.which makes it more fun.yay.fun-ness!heez.
i told divya.she doesnt wanna believe mee.but i guess it's true.i mean.i dont see the point of being so in love with a person when you know that he wont ever feel the same way.and i guess i hafta accept that fact.im not upset over it or anything.i just read a book.and discovered the true meaning of love.and what it's all about.i dont need to be pretty so someone wud like me.i just hafta be me.cos it's what that is inside that counts.aint that true ppl?i mean so what if you have the looks and everything else.if you have such bad attitude towards almost everything.ppl wont like you.okk.i've seriously gone insane.so.the point is.i dont have feelings for him.which is a good thing.cos now i dont like anyone.ahahahaha.ok whatever to mee.
today's moomud's birthday!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO IN LAW!!!hahhaa.wait.my sister's not married.who cares!he's 18!!woootz!
i just wanna cry infront of you.