July 29, 2006
I dont wanna run away baby. You're the one I need tonight..im all good now.my dad's okay.everyone's fine.just that my aunt was admitted last night cos she had difficulty in breathing.and my uncle isnt discharged yet.but anyway, i shall not talk bout this.i dont know why, but nowadays i feel like i cant be bothered with anything anymore.like for example, when im supposed to be pissed with someone, i normally put my ego before anything else.but now, im like whatever.i guess things are changing for me.i dont care bout anything.but why should i when it only brings more fights, tears and a broken heart.but to actually totally change and stop my not-so-nice acts, then im not up to it yet.gosh.i read this book.Angels in Pink.brought me to tears.literally.i guess i could relate to whatever that happened in the book.haizz.anyway, i think i did the stupidest thing yest.haha.after chem, i met sandhya, gloriee, nowrin and alisa at nowrin's condo.the one next to parkway.the one we call paradise.haha.yes, that one.went to the gym.dont know if i burn any fats.i hope i did though.=).so anyways, the security guard was soo pissing off.so then after working out, we went to the pool side.decided to swim.uh huh.should have thought throughly before doing it.so dummbbb.haha.we just jumped in.god, it was heaven.haha.super nicee.went down the slide thingiiee.wheeee~.my dream came true!yay!haha.then sandhya had to leave.so she did.gloriee sent her out.then me, alisa and nowrin went to this side where the water was shallow.probably for sun tanning.so we were lying down there, looking up at the sky.and gloria walked past us, like we didnt even exist.she had her specs on and still didnt notice us.haha.gunduuuu.so we hid behind this wall.by the time, gloriee was frantically looking for us.no granz, we didnt leave.hahhaa.after some time, then the old grandmother saw us.blind graniiee.hehehee.then after awhile, alisa wanted to go to the jacuzzi.but the security guard was there.another stewpid thing.he caught us.soo malu!haha.then we just left la.we steam bath!updated nowrin with my life story.aha.ok so then i changed ritee.i totally didnt think!my undies were wet!waddahell.haha.so when i put on my uniform, there were two distinct wet patches on my boobs!hahaha.stooopid thing!and my ass were wet.goshh.so i borrowed alisa's bag pac.used my file to cover my thang.then took the bus home.total embarrassment.heeheuuheu.i had bio lesson today.so early in the morning!oh, fatin told me i looked intelligent in the bag pac.so liiikkee, i look like a bimbs when i use my normal bag?hmmm...im sorry but im not up for it..
HER SCREAMS BEING HEARD AT [ 10:16 AM ]
July 23, 2006
It's you that i live for, for you i die..last week was just a nightmare.i couldnt do my work.could do nothing.i dont know la.gotta catch up with my studies soon.or im just dead.i was thinking, and i dont feel like taking my O's this year,it's just that too many stuffs are going on and i dont have the strength to carry on.and it's like im easily confused by stuffs.i just dont want to be like this.but haiz.last friday was my younger sister's birthday.had chem lesson, phy test and bio practical after school.it sucked doesnt it?but whatever la.i went to parkway to get my sister a card.it's kinda sweet.haha.then went home and my older sister insisted that i follow her to tamp to buy my younger sister an ice cream cake from swensens.i was dead tired la.so she went with my dad instead.he can drive already.yay.so anyway after that, they fetched my sister from sch ard 8 cos she had some streaming talk.brought her home.she changed.then we went to the hosp to see my uncle.my aunt is already discharged btw.and is currently staying at surayya's place.anyway we didnt cut the cake yet.then after visiting my uncle.we wanted to have dinner.my dad brought us to clake quay.he claims that there's this nice satay place there.but guess what?there wasnt!we ended up walking around looking for a place that doesnt exist anymore.haha.bt there was a positive side of it.i saw mos.LOVES!haha.=P.then we decided to go east coast lagoon food centre.had satay there.at 11pm!ugh.was damn sleepy already.and the thought of having to run/walk 5km around the reservoir the next morning made it worst.reached home only at 12.i couldnt wake up the next morning.but i did la.had to.woke up at 6.rushed all the way.met the people at bedok interchange at 650.gloria the grandmmother and sandhya the porkky was late!haha.whoops!=Pp.reached there.saw henna.so i did the 5km walk and a lil bit of running cos gloria and henna wanted to.grrrr....i dont run.haha.so yea.then gloria bought me an ice cream.yummmz.haha.was just chilling after that.then there was some stoopid performance.some other school-related nonsense stuff.then yea.oooohhh, me and sandhya can be such great couple detectives.ok something like that.we rock!haha.right sandyy???whee!~after the 'dirrty' job(heehee), me, sandhya, suhailah and chayana left for tamp mall.wanted to eat.but decided not to.bought old chang kee.walked around.so yepp.then later, went surayya's house for the tahlil.my aunt's sooo much better now.allhamdulillah.oh, i didnt know i have suchh cute nieces and nephews.lovee em.then there was a point of time, when my dad and aunt were telling us what happened and stuff.scaryy stuff.then when going home time, i salam-ed my aunt and kissed her on the cheeks.i told her to take care.she squeezed my hand.just praying for her speed recovery.yaa..when you came into my life....
HER SCREAMS BEING HEARD AT [ 10:43 AM ]
July 16, 2006
tears welled up in her eyes..i've been crying since sat.this weekend has been a long and it all seems like a dream.someone pinch me please?seriously.whatever that happened seems like a movie, all the sequence put in place.maybe i can write a compo on this.haiz.orite.so here it goes, i was in the toilet bathing on saturday morning cos i had english prelims oral.then i heard the phone rang.i hate it when the phone rings early in the morning.oh wait, the night before, i asked my dad to send me to school but he told me that he was going KL with my uncle, ustaz syed ahmad semait(if any of you know..), his second wife who is my aunt(my dad's younger sister), my other aunt(dad's older sis) and her husband and that he couldnt.i had a strong feeling that i thought maybe he shouldnt go.i dont know.instinct i guess.so anyway when i came out of the toilet, my mum told me that my dad called.he met with an accident.and that my unlce, the ustaz one, yeahh, he passed away.i was soo shocked that i just stood there, mouth open, staring at my mum.then my mum asked me to change and not think too much cos i was gonna have my oral exam.so i just went to school.still thinking bout the accident.and how my dad was.and the rest.but i thought i was between cars or something.i was wrong.so wrong.i kinda screwed up my oral.but, haizz.the moment i came home.my mum was like, i didnt tell you just now..your aunt passed away too.not the ustaz's wife.i felt like something sharp hit me right in the heart.i couldnt stand.i tried controlling my tears.i just went in my room.started crying and crying.she was a nice aunt.she was always there to show how much she cares.she was the nicest aunt.so anyway, i changed and everything and we left for my aunt's house.my dad and the rest was still stuck in batu pahat.somewhere in msia.ok so what really happened....(ask me personally)ah, im not gonna continue.this kinda pisses me off.if there's anyone who read the berita harian today, the cover page.some of the info is bullshit.dont rely on stoopid sources.urghh.oh and just now this stewpid reporter wanted to interview my dad.cmon la.get a life k?he was actually waiting for him.he's not gonna be interview.that's it.go find some other sources.which are not even reliable and make up fucked up stories.yes.do just that.who cares anyway.what i care now is the truth.ugh.whatever.my dad is badly traumatised.he keeps blaming himself.it's not his fault that all these happened.god already planned out all these for us.everytime i see him cry, i cry.it's sad.esp when he came back and hugged my aunt so tight.he's really important to me now.i didnt know this earlier but there are some stuffs that he told my aunt.it's sad.really..he needs our love and support.which was lacking.hmpph...daddy, i love you.will always do.
HER SCREAMS BEING HEARD AT [ 9:11 PM ]
July 14, 2006
Now i need to hold you tight, now and forever my love.ah, it's been a million years.was busy.didnt have the time.been coming home late from school.i've been really tired.couldnt wake up in the morning just now.was planning to go straight home to sleep.but noooo.mrs chee wanted to have chem lesson.i didnt mind la.she was already so pissed with us.it's just that my class isnt performing.we're not working hard.stuffs like that.kinda sad to hear it from her.i mean she used to praise us like a lot.aha.so anyway, chem finished at 1130.after that, the 4D ppl had their chem lesson.i really admire mrs chee man.she's willing to go the extra mile for us.goshh.she's goood.met gloria, divya, maria and sixuan in the canteen.i was molested for a moment.haha.sixuan!haha.i miss hanging out with her.haiz.at first i felt like going airport to study with divya, maria, shermaine, fatin and sixuan.but surayya msged.she was feeling sad and stuff.so i met her.but she finished at 145.in the meantime, i was with glors.went to meet paveena.the walk to her school was interesting.haha.then she came after how many million years!then we couldnt decide where to go.well, not me.cos i was gonna meet surayya anyway.but gloria and paveena are such fickle minded people!haha.paveena another one.she didnt want to go here.or there.or wherever!but i just got down at the lib bus stop and they went east coast.went to top up my card.then to the lib.did some work.then met surayya.took 15 to my house.she wanted to come over.so she did.we did some girl thang.then i sent her to the bus stop around 4.came home.had a nice long bath.and now, im here!would you ever go against your parents words?like family matters stuff.i was thinking la.say, you're attached to a guy.deeply in love with him.but your parents have found a match for you.they dont like the guy you're dating.you lied to them, saying that you arent in contact with him and stuff.i know someone in this situation.not that im trying to make fun whatsoever.i was thinking.so anyway.it'll be damn crazee to actually lie to them.cos not only, you'll be doom if they find out.but your future would be ruined if they already talk to the other side bout your marriage with him.haha.crazeee stuff.that's one of the reasons why i prefer to be single now.im free, for a start.like how many girls out there are actually controlled by their over posessive boyfriends.and some actually get abused by them.i saw this couple.the guy was literally hitting her on the head.bloody jerkoo.im mean we have to stand for women's rights here!ok wait, that wasnt the point.heck it.but seriously.and imagine if you parents force you to break up with him.it's a fact that the worst part of holding on is letting go.so what's the point of even holding on, knowing that one day you'd have to separate?seriously....it doesnt make sense.i'd rather have close friends.be it girls or guys.than having one special guy who would, most probably leave you at the end of the day.would you ever choose your friends over a guy?not worth it.gosh, i sound like a preacher!haha.noo.im just trying to prove a point.guys aint worth your time.there are other more impt stuff like your friends, family, studies.
HER SCREAMS BEING HEARD AT [ 5:08 PM ]
July 2, 2006
i was feeling nervous and scared yesterday twice!haha.first, there was the syf.then, i watched the match between england and portugal.love christiano ronaldo!he's so like hot.sooo cute.haha.and cos of him they got through to the semi finals.he rocks!whee.i loiike.i watched with my dad.i was like tensioning.cos i really wanted portugal to win.i just realised how lousy england is.but quite sad oso la.they were crying and stuff.beckham is still hot.yep.my dad supported england and he was like sad.haha.i wanted to watch the match brazil against france.but fell asleep.so anyway, the syf.it was so kecoh.haha.at first i didnt wanna go.cos there was my sister and mud's party.i missed it to watch the band.it was worth it la.anyway farhan and surayya were there.wouldnt wanna see them together.ugh.i only decided to go at 12 something.so i changed and everything.called gloria to ask her to meet me at the kcp bus stop.then i asked my bro to send me.then he told me that i was wearing skirt and that it wouldnt be nicee.ahaha.whatever.but i was like telling him that im late and stuff which is not even true la.then he gave me ten bucks to take cab.i called gloria again.and im not late so i took the bus instead.met her.went to parkway, intending to meet the rest but it'd be better if they went first cos we were waiting for nowrin.that slow grannie.haha.after she came, we went parkway.bought drinks.then headed to the stadium.we almost lost our way.we were like walking in between two schools.then we saw mr rizal.we went in.saw divya, maria, suhailah, si xuan, emilla, sandhya, chayana, shermaine, fatin.i sat next to divya.waited for hours!under the hot sun.so pissing off.then boring stuffs happened.like the choir.and the gay white guy dancing.that was soo gayish.loser la.then it was the tk band.they were great.except that jit rui dropped the thingie once.but he was still great.im proud of him and the band.=).deyi sucks la.whatever.and that bitch from bowen.what's with the short skirt man.haha.so seductive righhttt.we werent sitted in the same direction as the judges.so couldnt really hear.then the results came.i was scared.that deyi drum major got the best drum major award.soooo, TK WON THE BEST DISPLAY BAND AWARD.whheeeeheehe!haha.was proud man.really.this kinda thing dont come all the time.so after the whole thing.went down to where the band was.they played for us once more.then i went down to where they were.saw astrid!huggss.took pics.jit rui was there too.then maria wanted to take pic with you know who.ahaha.was damn funny.and embarrassing!they were like so arrogant and stuff.but nehmind.at least she got what she wanted.haha.then we took pic with jit rui.when we left, we realised that the whole band was behind us.then we saw bowen.haha.was damnnn funny!we were like cheering for tk.and the look on their faces was just soo funnnnyy.it's like so jeck in the face.but poor thing oso la.but what to do.our sch won!haha.chayana was going insane.so anyway, we found the bus stop.couldnt decide where to go for dinner.at first we wanted to go to east coast beach.the hawker centre there.then half didnt want.so we decided to go to the airport after a very long time.nowin couldnt come.haiz.so gloria decided not to oso.really wanted them to come.hmmmmph!ohhh, there was this bug thingie flying around.it was hugee okay!and it went in my shirt.hahaha.i saw it in the most private place.hhaah.i was jumping around.it was like damn scary.so anyway, we walked to the kallang mrt.saw some very unsightful sight.but i wasnt surprised.then we went in the mrt.i saw something sooo disgusting the moment i came in.i swear.divya saw it too.we're always seeing stuffs like that.haha.i told sandhya and chayana and they burst out laughing.i think sandhya is like traumatised.haha.reached airport.went bk.talked.crapped!we prank called some ppl.and it turned out hilarious!haha.esp sherman.ahaha.then it was gonna be ten soon so we left.went to bedok interchange.i told shermaine and divya my pontianak story.then i got scared.took 60 home.was running for the bus.didnt wanna miss it.so yea.went home.watched the match.ahh.i loiike!im gonna watch more portugal matches.hot laaaa....haha.kk.gtg now.it's you that i live for and for you i die..
HER SCREAMS BEING HEARD AT [ 10:21 AM ]
July 1, 2006
ah, i miss blogging..it's been a week..almost.and guess what?a lot of things has happened.some, i dont wish to talk about.i dont know.i thought i did the right thing.but what others have been telling me is leaving me to think for myself.whether or not, i did the right thing.gosh, this sounds confusing.but different people have different point of view right.so it's actually and solely up to me to do what i think is right.ok whatever.im just soo clueless!i had a tahlil at my aunt's house.it was my grandfather's 6 years death anniversary.went there with my bro.on his bike.couldnt be bothered to wait for my younger sister cos she was taking her own sweet time.no sense of urgency.so why should i care.and my older sister was already out with her bf.i couldnt care less la.soo, reached there.the ustaz sorta like lost his way.was funny.haha.then after the tahlil, we ate.the food was superb.really.haha.it was like, the whole of my mum's family were there.this kinda thing comes only once in a while.so yea.my grandmother was pleased.then she wanted to leave.so me and my cousin sent her home.it was nearby la.then, by the time we reached my aunt's place..they cleared everything.after a while, people started leaving.then i have this uncle, who has cancer.so he's partially blind, cant walk far and stuff like that.my aunt was gonna send him, his wife and my mum, me and my older sister home right.so i was being sucha nice niece by pushing him on the wheelchair all the way.it was scary though.haha.i didnt exactly have the strength.but i was happy la.i did two good deeds.whee!haha.went home.i was soo shagged.i just went to sleep after that.ha.i dont know why you're doing this.it's wrong okay?first, you wanted him.you went on with him without even caring bout how i would feel.what kinda person are you?we're close, almost like sisters.but no, you didnt even give a fucking damn bout how i would feel.that was okay for you.cos you werent the one going through the pain.all those thoughts bout thw two of you.but then again, who am i?really.im not someone you should care bout.your relationship is more important than me.i know.whatever.and now, what the hell are you doing?going out with some other guy?it's wrong okay.damn right it is.i dont think you even care bout how he would feel.im not gonna get involved.even though, it's soo tempting.i feel like, you're a nice girl.why even bother doing all these?just cos he's away?gosh, get a grip girl.if you're gonna continue doing this, it'll go on until you're like old.im just saying this to get something into your brain.you didnt care bout what your parents, family told you bout leaving him.now that you havent left him, you wanna go for some other guy?what if they find out bout this one?have you ever thought bout the consequences?gosh, you're shallow.im sorry.but it's a fact.i have always felt that if you were to be attached, both parties have to be loyal.not only one.you lied.i know you feel bad bout it.but why not confess everything?
HER SCREAMS BEING HEARD AT [ 11:04 AM ]
