why izzit that she's always the one happy?
why izzit that she gets all the guys?
why izzit that she has her loved ones around her?
why izzit that she has this charm to make everyone like her?
why izzit that she has to be the pretty one?
why izzit that she gets all the cash?
why izzit that she gets to out with the person she wants?
why izzit that she gets the guy she's been longing for?

why god why?





ello!ahha.i got rid of my pain.stress by shopping in jb!hahaha.it was fun!!!i shopped like there's no tmr.ehhehe.fun noe!at first i didnt wanna go.then after much pestering from my mum.we all decided to go.my aunts came.two of them.ate at my hse.then went to meet my aunt.okk.confusing!there were two cars.yep.by the time we reached johor it was around four.went to eat.i ate some hotplate noodleshit.it was nice!ahahaha.while my cousins.who were younger than me.went to watch zathura.the so called adults went shopping!wooooohoo.it was funn!!cos my mum was nice to us.she'd buy us anything.nice right!fun.=).i bought a kimono-like blouse.it's soo nice!hahaha.and two other blouses.ohh.and a slice of choc fudge cake.ehhee.im a choco lover!mmm.yummy!haha.i had mocha ice blended with caramel.haaaaa.nicee noee!!!i love love love caramel!=B.im so gonna put on weight.but who cares!i was having fun.haha.then after 5 hrs of shopping.we had dinner at this seafood place.it was late.so we headed home.there was sucha bad jam at msia causeway there.ok somewhere there.haaiishh.okok.so anyway we only reached hm at 1.i was dead tired by then.hhaha.went to sleepp.haaa.
things are different between us.it has to be.




i woke up today feeling happy.knowing that things arent exactly gonna be the same.but still happy.haaa!ok whatever.i went to camp the last few days.yest i went out with hani.i went to develop my pics.and bought an album from hallmark.it's sooo pretty!haha.so nice.but ex la.heckk it!it's nice.and the pics are nice toooo.yay!haha.okk.so then i was suppose to meet shehnaaz.but i was still w hani.and i had to go home.cos i was gonna go bake cake with my sisters.but when i went home.these idiotic sisters of mine went redy!they left me!=(.then i called mud.he didnt go.so i went to meet him instead.we met at marwan's hse void deck.with shadiq.erm.so ya.then i went up.my sisters were there.baking.blah blah.ok so anyway.i went home.wrote captions stuff in that album.watched some show for a while.then i was on the phone.until six.ahahaha.longer record.aahha.but whatever.=).

Day 1
i went to sch.felt like shit!cos it was sooo boring.i didnt know whether i was gonna survive or not.oooooh!erlina was my manito.ahahaha.i had one hell of a shock.i didnt know ahh.so wierd.i didnt give any clue that it was me.she thought it was some sec 2 girl.aahahaha.we had outdoor cooking.but it rained.so instead of roasting the chicken using fire only.we used the oven in the cookery room.it tasted good.but i was already on the verge of puking so i didnt eat.then the pizza sucked.cos the base was uncooked.i thought i was gonna die.cos the feeling was just so fucked up.so in the end i didnt have a proper dinner.lunch also didnt eat.erm.there were some sandwiches.so mrs tey wanted us to earn it.my grp got it.cos we sang the sch song or sth.i couldnt be bothered.cos i was already feeling sick.i really thought it was over for me.haha.then at night.mrs tey taught us how to make some friendship band stuff.it was fun!haha.after that we had supper.it was okaay.then our debrief was short so it was okkay.then the sec 3s thought of sleeping in the canteen.we all went there.erlina brought chocs.so we were munching on them while i wrote the script for the farewell night.then we were interrupted by mrs tey.she wouldnt let us sleep there.unfair!so we were forced to go back to our bunks.erm.mud called.after that i went to sleep!haa.

Day 2
woke up.it was raining like craazzee!was shivering like mad.then we packed our breakfast.then went macritche reservoir.there were monkeys there!!omg!!i was totally dying.cos it was sooo scary.there were many2 of them.and one actually wanted to snatch weirong's plastic bag.we were all sccrreaaaming.hahaha.but funny also.i was so scared i couldnt walk n all.then mrs tey asked me to walk beside her.haha.it was fun la.she managed to calm me down.heee.the hiking part was fun!me.erlina.suhailah.qinyu and pearlyn were walking together.haha.took some pics.then went back to sch.had lunch.after that we didnt do much.except for the preparations for farewell night.i was freaking out cos of the mc stuff n all.then kak muni came.she passed me my jeans.plus a packet of sweeeets!hahaha.shh.so anyway.it was farewell night.the mc thing was fucked up.cos there was no mic.but in the end.we had fun in the hall.was reaaaally crazeee.fun noe!!those who didnt come missed out on a lot.ahahaa!boo ya!hee.erm.we had supper.debrief.by the time.everyone was dead tired.so we just went to sleep!

Day 3
i was darn haaapyy!!last day noe!haha.we had breakfast.then gadget making shit.then we cleared our bunks.cleaned everything.after we played this board game.was stooopid.i mean the forfeit.cos my foot had to be tied to qingshan's.ahaha.was fuunny.hee.we had lunch.all sec 3s sat together.fun!!errrm.the part where we sang grace was damn fuunnnyyy.haha.after that the sec 3s slacked!woohoooo.we hanged out at in the guides room.talked.laughed.had fun!yay.we shud do it more often baby!after that we played some war game.but i was the weapon maker.so i just slacked.[fast forward!]erm.it was the prize presentation.we had to give present to our manito.stoopid.hahaha.when it was my turn.i gave erlina.she had this really SHOCKED look.ahahaha.i was kinda nervous oso.dunno why.haha.like wierd right!heehhe.erm.my group won the best performance.it was just funny la.yep.after that.i asked my mum to fecth me.soo there!!my three day camp.ha!
i survived it.




goooooood morning!haha.it's 1005am now.i'll be going for guides camp later at 12.haiiz.dun feel like it.but at the same time i wanna goo!i wanna get out of this hse.urghh.me n my mum arent on speaking terms.ok.not really.but sth liddat.just cos i didnt wanna show her what i bought for sharon.as in the senior.pathetic noe!anyway shheeehhhnnaaaz!!!haha.dont miss me k?haha.i'll meet u on friday!if i can.hahaha.okk.erm.i'll update bout my camp maybe on friday.if i dont update at all means it's gonna be sucky.ohh.and my bag's SOOOO heavy!whatthehell!how am i suppose to carry it.on top of that it's HUGE.hopefully other ppl's bag is liddat so i wont be so extra.haha.i wanna wear jeans for farewell night.but i dunnooo!haiiishh.okk.i gtg bathe.heehe.take care ppl!mwwwwaaaahhh!~




hhaaaallluuuuuuuu!!!!!haha.im in a goooddiiee mood!yay.dunno why.im going my cuz's place later.gonna meet surayya there.i hope!then got sakeenah.=)=).heehe.i slept at 6 in the morning just nw.was on e phone.didnt sleep the whole night.was editing my blog.chatted with ahmad.he wasnt asleep too!what a moron.haha.ooooh.i have that cuppycake song.i like!!!sooo cutteeeeee!hahaha.went out for awhile.my mum was being sucha pain k!she wouldnt let me go at first.urrghh!annoying.annoying.

i dont wanna know the truth.i dont want anything.anyway that dude who tagged my tagboard must be one hell of an idiot.haha.i might knw who he is.but what right does he have to tag such nonsense.but hey!i dont care.i dont care bout what u wanna say.comment.insult.whatever!cos no matter what.it's my life.nobody shall interfere in it.aight?but it's kinda funny how people are actually bothered to say such things when theres no effect on me.heeee~

live life to the fullest!




helloo.im sleepy.but not sleepy.it's about 2am nw.i watched i am sam just now.so sad!!being the emo me.i cried.yea.of course.it was sad!the father is mentally retarded.ok im not in the mood to blog bout that.haha.i was rotting at home just nw.i didnt have anyone to go out with.syerah went to diq's hse with han.muni went there with mud.i had no mood to go.dunno why.i just didnt wanna see anyone.then my grannnie came.my mum's fren.then my aunt.very kecohh.ok not really.i was damn bored.i've been so bored.syerah went out with her friend.muni went out with mud.haiishh.and nanas had some dance thing.couldnt meet her oso.aya was suppose to go out wimme.then tak jadi.cos her family is sooo freaking ****ed up.urrghh.dunno la.they wont even let her go out.what kind of retardedness? haaiiissshh.




hmmph.im bored.my life's so empty.haha.really man.guess what?my sisters have bfs.so wierd.yet it sucks.i really hate it noe.dunno why.she potong jalan.urghh.but whatever.cos i really cant be bothered with life anymore.i'll just leave it as it is.im gonna live it as it is.ahh.really sucky.but no one really bothers.im so like a LOST kid.ahahahaha!goshhh.people out there are ruining my life.ntah la.i like cannot be bothered also.fucked up life.fuck it.haiiiz.my heart feels so shallow.i mean im feeling so low.feeling stoopid.feeling sad.feeling depressed.feeling fucked up.but most importantly feeling alone.
ok this is what i call fucked up mood swing.dunno what has gotten into me.hrrmmmmmppphh!!!!!!=(.
when will this feeling go away?




heeeeyyyyyyyaaa!~haa.im tired.came back at midnight yest.went to my cuz's in law's hse.abg pis fetched us.then we went.in a van.it's not like those ordinary van.it was fun.abg pis was like a drunkard.singing away.hahaaa.cute!heehe.then we went there.baby kinah was there!!shes sooo cute!haha.she calls me nana.cute right!~=).we ate there.then.erm.someone had to spoil my mood.urghh.bitch.im kinda irritated.really annoyed.who does she think she is?just cos she has him doesnt mean she's one big fuck.oohh.[[so what if im blonde.maybe im stoopid.uhh.uhh.wait.i am stoopid.im a blonde rmb???uhh.]]-adapted from that bitch.euurghh.im freaking pissed with her.she flirts with the entire world.and even though she knows.shes purposely doing it.which pisses me off.she thinks she has everyone.but one day.im gonna prove that wrong.ok enough bout her.just thinking bout what shes doing gets me on my nerves.so why bother.ehhhh!i so wanna sleepover at shehnaaz's place tmr night!fun right.we can do whatever we want!haha.her parents would be away too.i tink.but still.it'll be fun!!but dunno whether my mood swinging mum would let me.HOPEFULLY!so anyway.on the way home.nice things happened.haha.i shall just keep it to myself.close to my heart.muahahaha!shhh.
you looked hort.=)




Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my honey
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
'Cause those days were all that filled my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
You'll always be the one I know and will never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye.........

reallly.it hurts soo deeply...='(.




haalluuuuuu!!haha.im kinda happy.plus high.dunno la.it's better if im happy rather than feeling down right.
anyway just now i went to meet surayya.with shehnaaz.was kinda awkward.but cool.haaha.then mahmud joined us.shehnaaz left after a while.then kak muni came.blah blah.it was okkay.though i didnt enjoyed myself as much.hmmmmm.i came hm.then watched the legend of zorro.yaaayyy!!muahahahaha.the movie's kinda draggyyyyyyy.but it's okayy.zorro's kinda charming doncha think?haha.elena's hoottt!hahahaha.ohh god.hehehe.mmmm.it's not as nice as exorcism of emily rose.yep.i watched that too.it's really interesting.but scarry too.cos the girl kene sampuk.haaiiiisshh.really interesting lah.
i wannnnaa watch salam namaste soooo badly!!!!someHOW im into hindi movies nowadays.haha.dunnnoo.maybe cos they're all love stories.love it!hehe.=PpPp.
mujhse dosti karoge?you still have yet to reply that fool!




hheelloooo!!it's been really long since i last blogged huh.i just didnt feel like it.so anyway.im feeling so siicckk!!i've been sneezing like one million times.and now my nose hurts.haha.ok whatever.a lot of things has happened.really sad stuff.i guess the best thing that i can do now is to move on.but it's really hard.it's hard to let go.i wanna see him so badly.but there're people who dont want me to.meanieess!but also cos of some other reasons.haizz.move on i guess.
my relationship with surayya is really different now.haa.secrets.keeping things from close friends is a darn bad thing to do.but i just hope things would go back to normal.tho there's something missing.and just not the same.ok whatever la.i really cant be bothered.i'll just live life like it is now.
i miss gloriiieeeee!!when the hell is she coming???that granniee!haha.she'd better buy me stuff.haha.but shes having a terrible time.poor thing la.=/.
i didnt go sch tdae.wont be able to see a lot of ppl in a very very long time.and it sucks.=(.
im sucha failure.i havent been going sch.i disappoint my mum with my marks.she's been nagging and it's annoying.haiisshhh.
i really have nth much to say.haha.okk.byeebyeee.
missing you so badly.