i was thinking.and thinking.and ive come to a conclusion that i love my friends.more than anything in the world.more than my handphone.more than my computer.more than my school.more than my butt.more than my life.more than my blood.and this blood im talking bout doesnt apply to my beloved family though.so yea.i love my friends.to bit and lil teeny pieces.
and this is because, they've been there for me through thick and thin.they always bring light to my life.i mean, other than Allah and my family, who else are actually capable of that?they crack the slightest joke out of everything and make me laugh till my stomach hurt.even after a whole day out with them, when i go home and think about it all over again, i'll just smile to myself.and yes.like a complete idiot.but i'd know that it's worth it.my friends.and to think that my blood can treat me like im a piece of crap?why cant they be my blood instead?too bad i hafta face reality huh.
when everything fails on me, i know my friends wont.they're such wonderful worthy creatures brought to earth.theres nothing in this world that i would trade them for.and i would never ever choose a guy over them.like for example, if my girl likes this guy who actually likes me instead, what are the chances that i'd go out with him?
Zero.
and if you are wondering why the heck im writing all these.no, im not getting at anyone.it's just a random thought that wouldnt stop flowing.
so there.
im happy with this post.haha.
so anyways.happy seventeenth birthdayy suuu sayaanggg!i love youuu many many.may Allah bless you dear.hope you had fun today!i'll post the pics up sooon..MUACKS!

kavina-henna-gloria-divya-fatin-suhailah-alisa-nowrin-sandhya-maria-shermaine
My Sweet Loves!




Happiness comes in many forms. In the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else's dreams come true:), or in a promise of hope renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy, because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.

i just watched one tree hill..episode 12 of season 4..yay!haha..been waiting for that one since god knows how long and i think it's freakin nice..as in this episode..theres so much lovee!haha..i love love.yeah but anyways.
yest was nicee..i went out with the family like after so long..we went vivocityy..somehow i didnt see anything nice bout that place before..but after yest, everything changed.i mean it's suchaa great hangout place.haha.we went to the rooftop, the one which is facing sentosa island.pretty pretty..we had dinner at secret recipe.was pretty funny cos i ordered chicken cordon bleu..and i wasnt really sure how it's supposed to be pronounced..so my mummy said it for me..and it turned out that i pronounced it correctly..and everyone just burst out laughing because the waiter said it for us, like repeated it, leaving him quite clueless bout the whole situation...haha..pretty cute!i had classic cheesecake which was sooo yummmy!haha..the taste is still lingering in my mouth and im fasting today!how great.hhaha..
i just found out that one of my cousins is getting married in junee..pretty soon.wheeee!i so love weddings..the whole ceremony and all..it's niceee..oh and glorie(and fatin), i have one reason why i wanna get married young okay!i wanna be free!of parenthood, of course..and my husband will be rich and hot..with a cute butt..haha..who doesnt want that right?oh and he must have a sexy voice tooo!hahaha..i should marry a sultan right?i'll live in a palace then you girls can come over!ahaha..aite.i brangan a looottt..
fatooon has decided not to go for the fall out boy concert..after getting me all excited and psyched about the whole thing..haha..ive never actually been to a rock concert..sadly..
oh and sentosa trip girls?

Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasnt. But then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong only because it’s so unfamiliar, and in that moment you realize you're happy...
so truee...

okay so i crashed sa with sandy and hennaa yesterday..we were such clowns..i swear..haha..first, we sorta like got lost but it was quite clear where the school was..and then, we went in st andrews primary school, thinking that it was the jc until we saw some kiddy's stuff..haha..and we almost got screwed by the security guard..so when we finally reached the school, we looked for the toilet and waited for kaviinnaaa.but we went down to the cafetaria..theres popular in sa!coolness..me and henz bought choc ice creamm..haha..then kavina came..like total omg k..haha..it's been freaking long since i last met her..hugged her for pretty damn longgg..i think she teared..haha..shes as gorgeous as everrr..then we went to the canteen..she was supposed to show us this hot guy..but he was no where to be found..and since henna had to leave early, we sent her to the mrt..but on the way there, the blondes got distracted with the spider web thingyy and they were like climbing it..without shortss!!haha..i tried tho..but whatever..haha..took some picss..then at the mrt, it was the last time im ever gonna see henz cos shes leaving for aussie on friday..we hugged and said our goodbyes..felt like as if we were in the airport..haha..but really sad stuff..then sandy was gonna meet her him for awhile..so me and kavina had some time to catch up on stuff in macdonalds(potong pasirr)..it was greaat..really was..i miss herr!hmphh.so sandy came back..haha..then we chilled there for awhile..then we toook the train together:)was funn~..me and sandy went all the way to marine parade to meet gloryy and kavinaa had to go home..so me, glory and sandy went to the beachh..we sat at the break water..talked..took some pics..then met deni at subway..just when we were leaving, sandyclown spilled barley all over..haha..but anyways..glory walked me and sandy to the bustop..but sandy's bus came so she ran..like serious raaannnn!hahaha..was funny..so glory waited for my 15 to come..being at that kcp bustop brought back good old memories..lots and lotsa memories..i swear..even the mp library..memories since sec 1..haha..remember glory, divya, alisa???haha..rightttt..k...so..i left in the bus..i felt soooo tired..seriously..like as if i was in school the whole day..divya called me while i was walking home..reached home only about 845..it was sucha fun and wackyyy day!haha..

im like soo tired now.haha..okay, no.i didnt go school..i didnt have any strenuous exercise..but i went vivocity with my slutt..haha..yeah well..it was my first time..and i think i dont it's a big deal..as in from where i heard about vivocity..how big..how nice..but im like, whatever..it's not that nice..it's too big that people get tired walking..and the shops are like those high class boutiques..most of which, i cant afford..
ohhh!im so in love with Candy Empire..yayyy!haha..it's soo full of chocs, candiess..junkkies!i so lovee..haha..i actually bought chocs(pick n mix) worth of eight bucks..and toon kept adding and adding chocs till hers became worth twelve bucks..hahaa..
we ate at ljs..couldnt really decide where to eat at first..we wanted to go secret recipe but i was thinking, theres no occasion..haha..so yea..i wanted ben and jerry's!!uughh..haha..then i got my digestive biscuits from marks and spencer..and henna's gift..she's leaving on friday..=(
we walked around more..and more..and we end up in circles..i saw pulau sentosa!haha..it's pretty pretty..damnn, i miss sentosa..so im thinking maybe me and my girls should go there again!what say youu, girls?
so results are like nearing and nearing..part of me can wait, part of me just cant!haha..but i hope whatever it is, it'll turn out the way i want it to..
I Could Be Your Favourite Girl.Forever.Perfectly Together..<3




i read divya's blog and i realised that episode 11 of one tree hill is already up in youtube!yay.so i watched..the storyline is starting to get really really stupid..i cant believe peyton's with lucas..he and brooke make such great couple..why cant peyton just be friends with lucas..they're both blondes anyway..haha..the love triangle that exists among brooke, lucas and peyton really bugged me cause it reminded me of a love triangle that i happen to know..but hey, i shall not get too carried away with it la huh..
i went out with mud, my sisters and han.like old times..but it wasnt really planned cause we didnt know where to go.like seriously and it was sorta like a last min thing.we went to the beach.haha..my sister and mud werent on speaking terms..the only time she spoke to him was when she cursed..haha..so we sat on a partially wet bench..and i suggested we play truth or dare..it turned out pretty funny..han had to do a dare where he had to ask some random manjan girl for her number..and he did!like wth..haha..but too bad..guess he lost all the charm with surayya..haha..the girl kept saying that shes not interested..i laughed till i teared..i swear..haha..cutee..my older sister got truth and since she and mud werent on speaking terms..i asked her what is it about him that she loves..and she was like his sincerity..haha..aww!swwwweeeeet..i got some random truth question which i shall not talk bout..haha..there were like more truths and dares..then my mum called so we had to leave..
i feel really really bad for not going to henna's farewell dinner..i have my reasons..but i hope i'd get to meet her some time next week before she leaves..=(
oh oh!haha..guess what?i dreamt of our dear gloryy last night..i dreamt that she called me but somehow, i didnt answer..and when i called her back..she didnt answer..was pretty weird..haha..i missss herr laa!!i want her backk like NOW!
I Feel Complete When It's Your Voice I Hear..
haha..emo shits again!




the only reason why im always blogging is cause i have nothing better to do.and it's freaking killing my brain cells.what if i start school again and i cant think?my brain just wont function?then im doomed right?
it seems like everyone in school now are like really studying.it's killing me to think that im gonna be left behind.haha.but somehow, i know i wont be.oh and some people are even having tuition for every subject.like now!i mean like, you gotta be kidding me right?people are actually, really studying.freaaksss!and im slacking my ass off!
so today, i met fatin at three(ha!) at parkway.we had a swensen's job interview.i doubt im even getting that job.like seriously.cause that interviewer told fatin something like me being those kinda office girl.not suitable or something!and they prefer those who are planning to go poly.so whatever.fatin's interview was like freakin long.haha..so me and toon went to the beach.it was funnn.it was drizzling and the weather was just purrfect.we walked to the other side cos we came from the underground nearer to popular.we were sharing ghost stories.and she didnt know that my old was was haunted.haha.speaking of which, i wanna go och.like soo badly!haha..i dont mind going in the day, whatsoever.i just wanna gooo!will someone take me please?ugh.the last time i went there, which i backed out..left some bad memories..which was good in a way too!somehow i think i'd chicken out..but imagine if youre inside with wentworth.i wouldnt mind being stuck in there forever man!haha..okok..reality check pls!ha.so anyways..the beach was funnn..though i refused to play in the water..fatin was like jumping2!haha..just imagine..shes cute..haha..we camwhored..haha..which turned out pretty funny cos everytime we make a crappy pose, the camera will just die cos the batt is flat..haha..so we'd be like huhhhh......haha..so after that, we walked to the bridge which brings us to the other side, that vjc side.ohoh!soo fatin was buying a drink at a vending machine right..then i asked her to buy red bull..and then she was like, red bull not beer ah?
HAHAHA!goodness!things you get from that girl..haha..loser la...then we went bedok interchange and saw divya..talked/teased her for awhile then saw masturah and suhaili..
so im home now..and tired..like as if ive been in school all day..goddddd.....




hiieeee!waasssuuuppppp!haha..i dont know why im in sucha happy happy mood..haha..i went so many places today..haha..okay not exactly..but i met my friend for lunch at ljs around two..it was fun fun..dont know whyy..guess we could connect in that way..haha..so we left..it was only 1530hrs and i had to meet alisa at 1700hrs at orchard mrt..so i decided to maximise the time i had to meet mahmud..cos i was at bedok interchange..then i hanged around at his house till four something..then he waited for my bus and i left for bedok mrt..alisa came late!haha..okay, a few minutes late..but still!!haha..we walked to Grand Hyatt..we made complete fools out of ourselves..goodness!haha..was so embarassing..then when we were there, there were about 15 people..mostly teenagers..they were there for the interview too..and the person in charge of security passes told us that the interview is not until six so me and alisa decided to go Far East..we walked around and stuff and by the time we came back, there were like twice the number of people before..ahaha..then Gary(person in charge) gave out application forms..then i asked the guy whether i could wear scarf..then he was like NO..damn you!haha..like wth?and he said that all other hotels wont allow to wear scarf..sheeeesh!i might as well go work in malaysia or something..
theres pasar malam(night market..haha) at my house..i wanna go..but most probably like very yucks..haha..it's been really really long since i last been to one..
my sister bought a Guess wallet online..it's freakin nice and cheap too..US$19.90..sucha bargain right..so freakin unfairrr!dammit!
so im going for swensen's interview tmr..hopefully, they'll give us like free ice cream or something?haha..
Im Bringing Sexy Back!
haaha..random!




heyy.im in that moodless state right now but im like whatever.cos divya and i have agreed that we're not gonna care anymore.right divs?i wanna learn hip hop dancing.dont know why.just a thought.oh and tennis too.i need to burn my faaaatsss!haha.seriously.then maybe i'd have a model like figure.not skinny though.i hate skinny.i had an interesting conv with toon bout fat people VS skinny ones.and turn out, i'd rather be around fat people.cos they're obviously happy people.when theres happiness, theres food.thus, leading to the size.but fat people are beautiful.theyre beautiful on the inside and thats what counts.unless, youre shallow minded enough to think that beauty is everything.goddd..brainless people!haha.okok whatever.
so i went for like three job interviews yesterday.it wasnt bad.hopefully i get the job at central business district(wheee!).haha.sounds professional but it's some ulu place at palmer road.the guy's nice tooo.oh and maybe at the skincare lab too.me and toon have been trying soo many places okay!but it seems like nobody wants us.it's pissing me off a lot.haaha.
so the people in school are like really studying and all, or so i heard.but some, i shall not mention who..are acting like sluts..cmon man..it's only a school..youre not in a strip club..or at geylang lorong 12 to wanna show people your undies..haha..but i feel embarrassed for youmightknowwho..but as i said, im not gonna be nice anymore..sick of it..haha..
ok im off..back to gossip with dear fatin..
mmmuacks!
I DONT NEED YOU!




hieeee bloggie and readers!sorry i was a lil rude earlier..im learning to overcome anger and pain..yay!but i still hate her.
ugh.whatever..so me and toon have decided that we shouldnt be nice to people anymore..they arent s0 innocent anyway...i mean, why should i continue being nice when all i get in return is rude remarks..oh and guess what?i get hurt tooo..ungrateful people!there wont be love in this world anymore!there'll be hatred, jealousy(on ya side), anger and frustration!..gosh..im so sick of this..
so me and toon went job hunting today and yesterday too!it sucked..im telling youuuu!no one wants us!haaha..we're not pathetic okay..just cos we're sixteen doesnt mean we're not smart..we're better than those aunties working out there okay!it's annoying laaa..we're trying our luck again soooon!hopefully we can make big bucks and i can have my retail theraphy which i sooo need after what happened..speaking of which, my mum's pissed that i bought a top(so 1/8 of the surrows are gone) using my own money..not like as if shes showering me with money!
dammit.




so they're at it again..
wait, more like she is..
that bloody whore...

goddd..when will you learn your god damn lesson?
okay, i get it..
youre jealous of me and you want sweet revenge?
fineee, do whatever you want..
but guess what dear..
MY BITTERSWEET REVENGE is coming tooo.
yayy!
so you think youre lil miss hot stuff..
oh miss cutieeepie!
you're wrong..you are sooo wrong..
you're simply not!and theres no explanation..
whoopsie?
damnn, i wish you were never born cos there was never a time that you cared bout how i felt..everything is bout youuu..
isnt it?
open your eyes dammit!
at least think bout others before yourself..

aightt..im not a nagging-cow..
so, hope youre loving your life now..you should..cos im taking it away from youu!






wheee!i spent my day in Tampines Junior College today!(toooon ditcheedd!!)haha..ok whatever..but it seemed real..i mean, me being in tp and all cos the people, they hardly recognise me..i met a few extksians there..i met huda, izzatul, mazziiee!, sandhya, fadlun and some others..divya and shermaine were my tp guide..they showed me other stuff too..other than the schoool, of course!haha..so the school's not entirely bad..but somehow, i just dont like the racist thing going on..like the malays hang out with those of their race..same goes to indian and chinese..i mean, tk has never been like that..not when we were around..i dont likeeee..but anyways, im not in the school so doesnt matter..
before 'sneaking' into tp, me and fatin went town..so nonsense okay!it was almost dead..cos we were there in the morning la..of course..so we ate at ljs there..then met with the rest..
me and toon are currently looking for jobss!goddd..nobody, i repeat NOBODY wants to hire us..like wthh..we're either too young, unexperienced..or working for a short period of time..ughh..
so we might be going job hunting tmr!




i feeel soo erm, lethargic today..god knows why!was watching Devil Wears Prada till early morning last night..so i woke up late and the day flew up real fast..most of the time, i was in bed..haha..then read Fiqeh Wanita..a religious book translated by my aunt..im still thinking if i should go to Yaman for four years..haha..
so yeserday was fun..had breakfast with the girls in the morning in bk..toon's annoying okay!you and your toyy!haha..sheeeesh!=P..divya came late..so after that, i collected the India photos i developed..so manyyyy..yay!haha..
so we walked to school..it was super hot k!but with lunatics around, you wont feel the heat..haha..gloria and the fire hydrant thingie..
i miss tk soo much!met some teachers..mrs chee..haha..shes still as crappy and cute!and we met mrs tan, ms nani, mrs chen..omg and cikgu suriyani!!haha..i missed her!she's still very thick skinned..hehee..oh and cikgu azman too..who can forget him?haha..
it was actually pretty boring..the choir performed..and guess what?the new principal is worst than pchan okay!haha..he mumbles when he speaks..sucha boring person..oh and mr chen resigned or something!haha..hes not teaching in tk anymore..thank god im out..ahahaha..=p..
so then divya took a cab to her temple for bhajan..si xuan left with her mum and brother..toon's daddy came to bring her and shermaine to singapore poly..and our dear glory left cos her mum called..so it was me and suuuu!haha..had lunch with her in parkway..i bought a chain from perlini silver..i needed one cos i wanted to wear to a necklace with the pendant i bought from Ibrahim..my Kashmiri Love..haha..lalala~
so gloria left..im soo missing her!she better come back sooon..shes not gonna survive in India okay!and she better not marry a rich indian man there and ditch us all here in spore to be a tai tai..haha..mrs tan's dream!




Lovers to Friends___
so apparently everyone else is having fun in their jc..what have i gotten myself into?dammit!im so regretting..i should have really worked..now, i dont know if i really worked hard for o's and if im gonna do well or not..hearing jc stories courtesy of divya and surayya(not much tho!) has made me erase all thoughts of wanting to go poly..i guess it's just different..the atmosphere..the people..the teachers..im praying hard that i'll do well enough to be able to get into tp or mj..
on a brighter note!i met gloriee yest..shes leaving for India on saturday..hope she'll be able to come on saturday..as in before she leaves..i developed the photos i took in india..cant wait to see them!haha..some were crappy..ohh and glorie was trying to be miss lil smart ass..she wouldnt let me do it myself..haha..we ate in banquet..i had cheese prata..been wanting that since god knows when!yummyyy.hhaha..i was supposed to walk her home..but i wanted mud to fetch me..so we waited for him behind the library..talked bout stuff..haha..it sucks when your closest friend turns out to be your greatest enemy..
so i ditched fatin and suhailah today..was supposed to go sp with them to check out the school..a sudden lost interest..but i still feel bad for ditching!=p!
goddd..my life's soo stereotypical now..haha..im doing nothing!my dad wouldnt let me work at a factory..but it's an overnight thing..i'll go there around 8pm then come back 8am..the pay is $800++ for 10 days..who can actually miss that!how pissing off!im still gonna persuade my dad..i dont care..
aiteee..im off..gotta get ready..meeting su and toon at tm!




okay so im like back.for good.thought i was gonna migrate to Kashmir or something.i really miss the place already.when i arrived at the airport, there was this whole group of female stewardess then this other whole group of male, wearing the same uniform came and hugged their other halfs.one was like, 'merrri jaaaaaan!'haha.it's just so nice to be in a foreign place and you get to actually see the people(eheeem!) there and how they actually live their life which is most definitely different from singapore's way of life.i almost died in Delhi though.
Delhi
The moment i went there i could actually differentiate the rich from the poor.there are people living in the streets, little children on the road with their parents elsewhere.it's so sad.i mean, they LIVE in the streets as in, hang their clothes out to dry there and stuff.let's just not go to the bathing part.and they'd beg for money.but to think bout it, if they're healthy enough, why cant they find a job to support their family?and the women should actually stop giving birth dammit!haha.and they'd beg for money with their child in hand.so that makes it more sad.but other than poverty there, everything else was nice.the shopping.you have to really bargain cos these people would mark up the prices just cos we're tourist.but my mummy, with her bargaining skills, we got less than half the price they gave.but my dad would be like really embarrassed.haha.but whatever, we're women man!i didnt really shop a lot there cos we went Agra and Jaipur plus Kashmir already.but i did some last minute shopping, bought anklets and bangles.handbags.then went to this youth hangout place on our last night.had chinese food in this really nice restaurant.posh.haha.the food was soo nice!i loiike.haha.but our flight was delayed.damn pissing off.so we were sent to this 5 star hotel named Asoka or something.it was the New Year so there were people partying and stuff.like so funn right!haha.
Agra and Jaipur
nothing much there.just that we shopped for sarees which was super ex.went sightseeing.saw the Taj Mahal which also means Crown Palace.haha.learnt some history there but i got bored halfway.wanted to really shop.saw Shah Jahan's tomb.and fatin, i got to clean the marble flooring of the Taj Mahal cos they gave us a pair of shoe cover which prevents contact of our shoes with the marble flooring so in a way, i was cleaning the floor with the shoe cover.haha.=).
i bought a stone from Jaipur.forgot what it's called though.haha.will make a ring when im old enough.yayy.went to some fort there which i thought was so not important!ugh.people lived in the streets too.they pee like everywhere!and they'd be cows, buffalos, camels, horses, dogs whatsoever.it was like a zoooo!haha.there was one time i walked behind a cow cos i was too afraid to walk past it.it took sooo long!haha.slow cowww!
Kashmir
ahhhhh!my favorite-est place.i so love!haha.the moment i reached the airport in Srinagar, there were like really good looking people everywhere!haha.they're soo fair and pink cos it was cold.they dont need blusher!haha.but the sad thing is that, they'd be armed army people like everywhere guarding the place.people dont really care actually.then on the way to Pahalgam, there was a group of people striking!cos they didnt get electricity for a week or so.so our jeep couldnt move.it was kinda scary.Pahalgam is this really really nice place.it's soo pretty.the scenery is like a picture.it was perfect.i rode on a horse there.i got a brown one.i wanted a golden haired horse.pretty pretty horse but my dad took it.so the horse took me to the village which i soo love!haha.there are like ducks,ducklings, chickens.so cute k!haha.then the women will stop washing their clothes and smile at you.and the boys will have to stop playing cricket to let us pass.haha.and there was a group of kids playing in the snow.making their own sledge.super cutee!haha.they were waving at us.back in Srinagar we stayed in the houseboat.like a house on water.we had to take a shikara there.like a boat rowed by the person and three people will be on it.there'd be mattress and pillow for comfort:).and then you have your own butler serving you in house and burning wood for you cos it's super cold.we got a boy butler.his name is Taj Mohammed.kinda cute.funny cute la.and i met this hunk.haha.sad thing we didnt exchange address.if not we could mail each other.that'd be cuteee.hehee.so anyways, we left heavy heartedly.i didnt wanna leave.reaaallyyyy.haiz!
oh well.im coming back there!but india and pakistan should really give them independence.sucha beautiful country gone to waste cos of war?thats not worth it.no brainers!
Incredible !ndia really fulfilled its meaning.haha.
so tmr's the third.some well, most of the people got into a jc.i want toooo!i mean, i wanna wear TK uniform again.meet tksians.hang out at our favourite spot and do the crazeee stuff together like before in 2006.gosshh!but i guess, ive had my share of it.now, theres a new beginning to my life, a new chapter to unfold..